first class is honestly the best argument for entering into an income-based marriage
yesterday, on my flight back to chicago from atlanta, i was mysteriously bumped to first class, for no reason at all that i could...
first class is honestly the best argument for entering into an income-based marriage
at least one family has a pretty weird vacation video fo me in the bahamas
There's Significantly More Milk In This Story About Teenage Drinking Than You're Expecting
THEIR TEETH, BUDDY!!!; Or, I Respect Sharks' Right To Live But They Should Stay TF Away From Me
Roses Are Red, Carnations Are Pink, This Was A Mistake, Oh God, This Was A Terrible Mistake
You Think They’re Normal But Your Parents Could Be Hiring Hitmen Under Your VERY NOSE
WASPs Don’t Talk About Their Problems
an open letter to my next-door neighbor: i will never forgive and i will never forget
SWITZERLAND!!!!!
The Most Beautiful Man In The World, Who Lives In My Building & Only Sees Me When I Look Disgusting
the time i walked in on a robbery and tried to buy some wine
the time i was a DONUT GOD
the time my highschool boyf and i got stuck on a roof
the time i conquered an oven and almost killed myself with coffee
the time i got stuck on a ski lift and almost ruined a family vacation
the time i got robbed at knifepoint (but by a gentleman)
the worst email i’ve ever sent
the time that PAUL MCCARTNEY gave me a swimming lesson
the time my mom adopted a wild boar and it all went very badly, as anticipated
the time my cousin barea accidentally lit her head on fire and now i think she’s hiding something