Portrait of the Blogger as a Young Trashbag

 

look how dainty those flowers are. up there on the left. don't they look like the flowers of a beautiful and carefree twenty-something whose blog is about how much she loves having a great relationship with her boyfriend, who takes her hiking every saturday (which she also loves)?

 

well, they should, because i stole this template from a beauty blog. i hope you're happy, wherever you are, beautiful italian woman with the great earrings. live your best life, lady. 

 

oh, right. about me: music, writing, cheese. not into sharks.

capslock

"why don't you use capital letters, molly ofgeography?" 

 

you know, this is a good question. it is. i mean that. why DON'T i use proper capitalization? is it the #aesthetic? is it pure laziness? is it my weird desire to dictate the way you all sound in your heads when you read what i write? 

 

yes. that's why. and also, my fifth grade math teacher told me that pablo picasso was allowed to break all the rules of painting because he'd learned them first, so i studied literature in college and now i can do WHATEVER THE HECK I WANT, MRS. SMITH.

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t.b.t.t.c.h.

this is a good game. you're going to like it. on days when it’s gross out and you have just drudgery to get through and also your headphones are broken and you have a headache and you suspect that person you hated in high school is secretly more fulfilled in life than you are, play The Best Thing That Could Happen Game, or TBTTCH!

 

in this game, you give a detailed account of the ABSOLUTE BEST THING that could happen to you right now. you’d think this game would bum you out because those things aren’t happening, but it doesn’t!!! it makes you so happy!!!! don't ask me why, i'm not a scientist.

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