molly ofgeography
You Think They’re Normal But Your Parents Could Be Hiring Hitmen Under Your VERY NOSE
until the fourth grade, i lived with my dad, brother and sister in gentle suburban massachusetts where i could ride my bike to school. my...
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molly ofgeography
- Feb 12, 2017
- 6 min
WASPs Don’t Talk About Their Problems
growing up, for the most part, i really liked school and didn’t mind getting up in the morning to attend it. which is not to say that...
1,272 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Nov 16, 2016
- 4 min
an open letter to my next-door neighbor: i will never forgive and i will never forget
dear neighbor, who, for the purposes of this letter, will be named todd, listen. i know i eat a lot of takeout. maybe, arguably, i eat...
664 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Jan 26, 2016
- 4 min
the time i walked in on a robbery and tried to buy some wine
i really love wine. the thing you have to know about me is that fundamentally, to my core, the only thing i really want out of life is to...
17,077 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Nov 16, 2015
- 3 min
the time i was a DONUT GOD
believe it or not, "trashbag" is a compliment. OKAY SO THE THING ABOUT TRASHBAG DONUTS IS: i worked at a camp for kids the summer that I...
644 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Oct 16, 2015
- 5 min
the time my highschool boyf and i got stuck on a roof
contrary to what i feel like might be popular belief, i didn’t get up to too many hijinks in high school. i mean, i was in our version of...
398 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Aug 2, 2015
- 4 min
the time i conquered an oven and almost killed myself with coffee
i have always had a somewhat tenuous relationship with fire. when i was in argentina i did a homestay and my housemom, MonMons (real name...
411 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- May 19, 2015
- 5 min
the time i got stuck on a ski lift and almost ruined a family vacation
in hindsight, honestly, i'm MORE surprised it didn't happen sooner. back when i lived with my dad, until i was 10 or so, we used to go...
353 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- May 14, 2015
- 4 min
the time i got robbed at knifepoint (but by a gentleman)
i don't know a LOT about robbery but i DO know that you should go into it with a gameplan. so when i was studying in argentina, it was...
480 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Feb 13, 2015
- 5 min
the worst email i’ve ever sent
this isn't really a "story" so much as a "PSA about email safety." when i was in undergrad i wrote my thesis on translations of...
480 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Feb 10, 2015
- 4 min
the time that PAUL MCCARTNEY gave me a swimming lesson
i'm sorry, paul. DISCLAIMER: i have no memory of this story. this is just a story that has been told to me SO MANY TIMES that quite...
1,105 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Jan 9, 2015
- 4 min
the time my mom adopted a wild boar and it all went very badly, as anticipated
life on the farm is weird and has gone a long way toward preparing me for the weirdness that is adult life. so something that you have to...
334 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Dec 15, 2014
- 5 min
the time my cousin barea accidentally lit her head on fire and now i think she’s hiding something
she was stone cold. the woman has ice in her veins. around christmastime a few years ago—let’s say 5 years? maybe 6? i don’t know, some...
377 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Nov 14, 2014
- 5 min
the time i accidentally tripped on ambien and tried to fight my own reflection
learn your lessons well: you are not more powerful than hallucinogens. so ambien can be a really good drug for people with bad insomnia....
468 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Oct 31, 2014
- 4 min
the time i brought shame on my high school in front of the AP review board
stay in school, kids. hmmmmm. so while i was at boarding school i took ap physics, which was a bad decision for all parties involved...
465 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Oct 10, 2014
- 4 min
the time i almost died thanks to a piece of luxury furniture
I AM EXTREMELY STRONG. the summer that i was about thirteen or fourteen, my mother decided to buy a la-z-boy for my stepdad, skip, for...
339 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Oct 2, 2014
- 3 min
the time my mother left me to die in a fire so that she could rescue five fish, all named jerry
i know my mother loves me. but. so obviously the problem with listening to country music too much is that it is a constant reminder of my...
428 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Sep 27, 2014
- 5 min
the time i got drunk on a tuesday and threw bar nuts at strangers
i was a terrible bartender, and everybody knew it. when i lived in spain, i worked as a “bartender” in madrid. i put “bartender” in...
331 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Sep 16, 2014
- 5 min
the time my friend ginna fell out of the ceiling
ginna and i remember this story differently, but this is my blog, so i get to tell it how i want. my school had this thing called “senior...
431 views0 comments
molly ofgeography
- Aug 8, 2014
- 3 min
the time a slight misunderstanding almost sent me to porn prison
the problem with pay-per-view is that you have to pay per view. so here’s a fun story about the first wives club. guess who loves this...
889 views0 comments
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